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Emmie walks up to Josh looking for a snack. “Daddy, can I have a chiwi?”

“A what?”

“A chiwi, Daddy.”

“Oh, a kiwi?”

“Yeah, Daddy,” (rolling her eyes) “a chiwi.”

“Well I think Mommy was gonna make something with the chiwis.”

“Yeah…” (processing) “Mommy was going to make chiwi-strawberry popsicles.”

“Well, if Mommy was going to make something with them, I don’t want to let you eat one because I don’t want to get in trouble.”

“Daddy! You’re in charge; you can’t get in trouble!” (more eye-rolling)

“Well what did Mommy say?”

(long pause)

“Mommy said no.” (le sigh)

“Well, if Mommy said no, then Daddy says no.”

(Emmie puts her hands on Josh and uses her most charming voice) “But, Daddy, you’re the boss. If you say yes, then Mommy says yes.”

“Well, if I’m the boss, then I say you have to ask Mommy.”

“Aww! But Mommy will say no!”

“Probably so. And that probably means no chiwis.”


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