I haven’t written in a long time, partly because when I’m pregnant I feel like everything I write sounds like whining. In the spirit of New Year’s resolutions, I generally write a couple of blog posts in the month of January. In my mind it goes something like this: “I’m going to write every day! Well…maybe every week…” and by Valentine’s day I’ve given up for the year. So to sum up 2014, here’s some of what happened:
I was pregnant. In the spirit of “resting” I channeled all of my neuroses into crocheting cute little baby hats and sweaters.
I had a baby! I never wrote my birth story, but I still remember it vividly, and it was a sweet experience. I went into labor on a Saturday morning. I was feeling sick to my stomach, so I didn’t eat more than a couple of saltines (BIG MISTAKE). We arrived at the hospital around 1 pm, and I wasn’t very far along, but since it was my 3rd pregnancy and my last labor went very quickly, the triage nurses kept finding reasons to hold me longer. Bless them! I was so worried they were going to send me home and Amelia was going to be born in Opry Mills mall or something. They admitted me around 6, I had my doctor on call for me, I got a room with a tub, and before labor got too intense, there was some really sweet, quiet moments with just me and Josh listening to hymns. Amelia was born around 9 pm. I was starving. She came out so fast, Josh almost had to catch her, but the nurses got there just in time. Dr. Bellardo walked in with a shocked look on his face as one of the nurses told him, “You missed it!” Amelia has been a chill baby for her entire 4 month existence. If she had been our first baby, we would have been incredibly arrogant parents. Thankfully, we had Emmeline and Gareth to humble us before God blessed us with a low-maintenance child.
Emmeline started kindergarten! Since we’re homeschooling, and it’s hard to start school and have a baby at the same time, we weren’t very consistent during the fall. My plan was always to start in January and go through the summer. I always wanted to homeschool my kids, and I genuinely enjoy doing her school with her most of the time. She’s very smart, and she loves learning.
Gareth is at times sensitive and affectionate and wants to hold his baby sister and dress her up in “faboolus” clothes, and at other times he is violent and aggressive and just a little wild man. Potty training him was so easy, I can’t even remember when he stopped wearing diapers, but he was young for a boy. He’s terrified of bugs. I found a video of him as a little 2 year old and he had the cutest southern drawl and a head full of golden curls. Now he’s tall and all muscle, and when he’s mad he throws metal Tonka trucks at the wall. His love language is quality time, and nothing makes him happier than when you take him on a date or play pretend with him.
Josh always tells me how much he misses my writing, and I have missed it too. Adjusting to 3 kids, I’ve had so little free time, that I feel like my identity is entirely wrapped up in being a mom right now. There are things I really used to enjoy and be good at that I don’t get to do anymore, and I’ve struggled with that. I feel guilty for feeling that way because I know this is just a season, and I am so blessed to get to stay home with our three healthy children. There will be plenty of free time when they’re older.
I always hear that the key to making New Years resolutions is to make small, attainable goals. Earnest Hemingway’s infamous advice was to “write drunk; edit sober.” I joked with Josh that since I never seem to have time to write, maybe I should stop resolving to write more in the coming year and just resolve to drink more (KIDDING!). So here’s to 2015; I will probably write 2 or 3 more blog posts and spend the rest of the year going back and forth between, “I should write a book!” and “I should just delete my blog because I am worthless and can’t follow through on anything!”