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12 Weeks

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Baby Size: A lime. We went to hear the heartbeat this week, and in addition to the heartbeat, the doctor pointed out noises that meant baby was kicking. It’s still too early to feel anything, but it’s nice to know there’s a healthy, growing baby in there.

Foods i’m loving: Carrots and ranch dip, pastries (I keep craving chocolate croissants and cheese danishes), Jeni’s ice cream. Jeni’s is so rich a little goes a long way. I can barely finish one 1/2 cup serving.

Foods i’m hating: Onions. Henceforth they shall be stricken from all recipes. I can do some leftovers now, but not too many.

Sleep: I’ve got a little bit more energy now, so I can make it through the day without having to nap. That’s encouraging.

Symptoms: Still nauseated but not as much as before. I have a lot of back pain when I’m pregnant (chronic back problems and pregnancy don’t mix), and that has already started to get worse. I’m used to managing it though, and I can usually find the right mix of rest, exercise, and heating pads.

What i miss: Meal planning, oddly enough. I’ve pretty much given up on that, since I don’t really know what food is going to sound good from one day to the next. I’ve tried a couple of times to just eat food anyway because it’s what I had planned for the evening or because I didn’t want to waste leftovers, but it leaves me sick every time, so I’d rather just take it one or two days at a time. Also, I miss advil. I have an awful sinus headache today, and I just want some Ibuprofen.

What i’m looking forward to: In a couple of weeks I’ll be in the second trimester which means I’ll start feeling better. Putting food aversions behind me will make life easier.

Emotions: Optimistic. I’m so thankful I’m not working full time. It has taken a lot of the emotional pressure off of me this pregnancy. It’s nice not to feel like I have to perform a job to someone else’s expectations. Being a stay-at-home-mom has its challenges, but since I’m my own boss I get to decide what I’m capable of accomplishing in a day. Sometimes I wake up feeling miserable and knowing that my productivity will be limited to keeping everyone fed and making sure we all nap. I’m at peace with that even if I do wish those days never happened. When I was pregnant and working, I couldn’t just decide, “This week I’m not going to do any work at all, but I am going to take long lunch breaks, nap for 2-hours each day, and go home early.” With the first two pregnancies I was in denial about how it would affect my productivity level–mostly because I had a full-time job to perform regardless–but my energy levels aren’t the same because everything I’m doing right now–even sleeping–I’m doing while I grow a human being. I can never stop multitasking. Admitting that to myself and adjusting my expectations accordingly has left me happier in my third pregnancy. Overall I haven’t been the depressed, anger-ball I was the first two times.

Family life: The impending arrival of another child has woken me up to how much I do for the kids each day. I baby Emmeline a good bit, and  that needs to stop. So I’m trying to do better about:
1. Teaching her to do chores and help with housework
2. Velcro her own sneakers (Yes. She can’t even do Velcro herself. Mom fail.)
3. Towel herself off after her baths.
I’m also trying to be more intentional about making her share her room with Gareth. The new baby will probably go in her room, so I want her to stop thinking of it as all hers. And don’t feel sorry for her, because she has two hours of alone play every day, so the child gets plenty of space and privacy.

We’re also easing into potty training Gareth. We haven’t taken away his diapers yet, but we need to soon because he’s taken to it pretty easily. I hope he’s easier to train than his sister was. It would be nice not to have two in diapers this September!


9 Weeks Pregnant

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Baby Size: A Grape. I wanted to plan ahead and have something to show Emmeline each week, so she could see how big the baby was, but I’ve been so sick and tired it hasn’t happened yet. 

Foods i’m loving: Strawberries, sometimes pickles, Lipton Nooble Soup, hummus (but only the blandest flavors) and pita chips, and Girl Scout cookies (except not the actual Girl Scout cookies but the cheap Keebler knock-offs), also whatever might appeal to me at a random moment when a food whim strikes. 

Foods i’m hating: Leftovers, the right food at the wrong time, the wrong food at the right time, anything too salty, sugary, garlicky, spicy, dairy-ey, anything too anything. 

Sleep: All the naps! This is completely unscientific (you’re shocked), but I figure since I’m sleeping for two, and a normal adult needs 8 hours, I’ll just double that number. But yes, if I can get a tight 12-16 hours then I can function like a normal, non-pregnant person.  

Symptoms: I don’t have a sensitive gag reflex, so I rarely throw up–even when I get the stomach flu. Nausea for me is this constant, pressing, dizzying feeling that never goes away. Although I am taking medicine for it now that has taken the edge off some.  

What i miss: Pregnancy hormones make me feel like someone has flipped on a crazy switch in my brain, and they won’t flip it back off for 9 months. I miss having normal emotional reactions to daily life. It’s a full-time job (for which I don’t have the energy) just trying not to be the crazy pregnant lady who cries and screams at the drop of a pin and is convinced no one loves her and she’s horrible and greasy and mean and alone.    

What i’m looking forward to: It’s going to be so much fun to share this pregnancy with Emmeline and Gareth. Emmeline is old enough now to have some understanding of what’s going on, so even though this is my 3rd go round, everything is new and exciting again through Emmeline’s eyes. She likes finding out how big the baby is getting, she’ll get to come to the 20-week ultrasound for the first time, and she can’t wait to see Mommy’s belly get big. Gareth is just his usual funny, little brother self. I told him I had a baby in my tummy, and he shone a flashlight down my throat and called, “Baby? Baby!” then he told someone I was having a baby monster because, “Mommy ate ‘da baby.” Now he’s over the whole thing and when I talk about the baby he’ll either remind me that HE is the baby, or he’ll just tell me, “Stop talkin’ ’bout your baby, Mommy.” Josh and I are taking bets on how long the new baby will be home before Gareth tries to bite it.  

Emotions: It’s very Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in my head at the moment. Emotions range from, “I’m so excited and thankful to meet this new little blessing! Children are wonderful and this is a special, exciting, hopeful time” to “What were we thinking?! Why on earth did I want to do this AGAIN?! Josh, this is all your fault!” But overall I’m excited and content. I’m trying to focus on the second trimester, when I know I’ll feel better, and we’ll get to experience all the fun firsts of pregnancy, such as finding out the sex and feeling baby kick and move. (It’s cute when they weight about 2 ounces. When you have a 7-8 lb watermelon karate chopping your ribs it’s not so fun.)